


Do You Mind If I Put A Trojan In Your Hard Drive?

by fluffy_subtext



Series: Battery Operated Boys [2]
Category: Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types, Marvel (Comics), Marvel 616, The Avengers (2012)
Genre: M/M, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-01-20
Updated: 2013-01-20
Packaged: 2017-11-26 04:19:50
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,281
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/646504
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fluffy_subtext/pseuds/fluffy_subtext
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Sequel to "No One Saw This Coming, Not Even Coulson"</p><p>Part of the Battery Operated Boys universe</p><p>Sex and Pamphlets! Oh my!</p>
            </blockquote>





	Do You Mind If I Put A Trojan In Your Hard Drive?

**Author's Note:**

> Sequel to "No One Saw This Coming, Not Even Coulson"
> 
> Part of the Battery Operated Boys universe
> 
> no beta! sorry!

“Stark.”

Coulson was pleased when the man jumped and barely managed to keep himself from dropping his tablet he had been working on. Steve raised an eyebrow at the corner of the room he was sitting in drawing the Iron Man armor (Tony had been begging the man to do a portrait when he found out Steve could draw) before he decided whatever was happening didn’t need his attention and went back to work, Coulson was grateful. He kept a frown on and Tony grinned at him because he obviously knew what this was about.

“What can I do for you buddy?” 

“What are these?” He held up the pile of pamphlets he had found in his room.

“Oh I was at the Doctor’s office the other day and thought you might like them.” Tony shrugs obviously amused and trying not to laugh.

“This is one is titled ‘You Found Out You’re An Android and Now You Have Questions About Your Body’, Stark what kind of doctor was this?” Coulson crosses his arms and Tony lets out a small laugh before trying to look serious.

“Geek Squad?”

“Stark.” 

“Oh come on did you read them at least?” Tony waves his hands at Phil. “I spent a lot of time on those!”

“‘I Have A Metal Dick, Can I Still Get A Boyfriend?’,” Coulson looks at the pamphlets and pointedly ignores Steve’s sputtering. “‘Safe Sex and Recharging Your Batteries’, ‘Having A Human Boyfriend and What To Expect’, ‘Knowing When You Need An Upgrade’.” Coulson looks at Tony. “Are you trying to tell me something?”

“Just wanting to give your information in conventional means.” Tony grins. “Plus your and Clint’s UST is giving us all blue balls.”

“How is our unre … how is this bothering any of you? And its not unresolved. I don’t even want to know how you know UST.” Coulson stops himself from fidgeting (and yes he knows what UST means, he’s been to Captain America fan sites and seen the fanfiction thank you very much though he makes a note to look at Tony’s browsing history later), sure he and Clint hadn’t had sex yet but that was because he had wanted them to take it slow. Of course now he found it hard just being in the same room as the other man without jumping his bones but … “You think I’m uncomfortable with my body? Because I’m an android?” He tries.

“Are you?” Tony asks and Coulson has to pause for a moment. He looks over to see Steve had let himself out of the room so they have it to themselves.

“I was.” He finally admits and Tony just hums as he walks over to the coffee machine. “I feel like everything should be different.”

“It’s bothering you that you still feel human?” Tony taps at his arc reactor and Coulson puts the pamphlets down on the counter. He could be surprised about how easy it is to open up to Tony but strangely (or maybe not so strangely) enough both of them seem to have developed a sort of relationship. He’s more comfortable talking to Stark than the SHIELD psychiatrists and that's something he’s not going to focus too much on right now. 

“Yes.” Coulson leans against the counter. “I feel like it should have changed things.”

“You’re talking about you and Clint right?” Tony hands him a cup of coffee and takes a sip.

“I’m talking about a lot of things but that would be one of them.” He sips the cup. “My dreams have changed.” He doesn’t say that they’ve gone from watching friends and loved ones die to himself being dissected in a lab.

“Hm.”

They sit there in silence for a while and Coulson pretends not to notice Tony staring at the chair Steve had left.

“You know I never thought I would see it.” Tony sighs into his cup.

“See what?” He can’t help but ask. 

“You always hear about people who only care about what’s inside a person you know? Not guts or anything but personality or whatever that shit is. The point is, is that I don’t think it would matter to Barton if you were human, robot, alien, boy or a girl.” Tony shrugs. “He likes you for whatever he sees on the inside and believe me when I say I don’t get it.”

Coulson can’t think of a way to reply to that so he keeps sipping his coffee.

“You know I could have rebuilt you without your memories and stuff.” Tony starts but he’s looking at his tablet again. “When we thought we lost you, I could have built you from scratch without any of your files and I offered but Clint was the one who said that I couldn’t.”

Coulson’s a little surprised. No one really talks about his short time “decomissioned” but he does try to keep the times Clint sees him lying motionless limited.

“He said you wouldn’t be the same. You wouldn’t have had the same personality ” Tony looks up at him. “I don’t know if knowing that helps you at all.”

“Thanks.” Coulson puts the coffee down. “It does.” At least it’s added to the list of things he needs to think about. He looks down at the pamphlets. “How much time did you spend on these?”

“More time than what it took to make the new Starkphone, less time than it took to sew the ‘JUICY’ into Steve’s uniform to go over his ass.” Tony shrugs. Coulson raises an eyebrow. “We haven’t been called out since I did it so he hasn’t seen it yet.”

“He might kill you.” Coulson says flatly.

“Naw I think he’ll just rough me up a bit in our next sparring session.” Tony winks and Coulson doesn’t roll his eyes but does a slow blink. Speaking of unresolved sexual tension.

“I try not to think of the things you could accomplish if you ever got your priorities straight.” Coulson does not shudder, but its close too. He makes his way out. “Want me to send Steve back in?”

“Sure. Hey Coulson wait.”

He turns to look at Tony.

“Did you read them at least?”

Coulson thinks about lying but smirks and decides against it. “Yeah.”

XXX

“He made one for you too.” Clint looks up to see Coulson leaning against his doorway. He smirks as the man looks him over before his eyes settle on the pamphlet he’s reading. ‘So Your Boyfriend Is An Android’.

“It’s pretty interesting.” He admits with a smirk. “You got one?”

“Ten.” Coulson corrects before making his way over and Clint licks his lips, the man is definitely sauntering. “But it was actually my conversation with him earlier that had me thinking.” 

“Oh?” He watches Coulson shrug off his jacket. “Thinking about what?”

“I really really want to sex with you.” Coulson smirks and Clint drops the pamphlet. 

“What the hell did you and Stark talk about?” Clint ignores the way his heart is pounding and sits up on the bed. “Should I be worried hanging out with him makes you want to have sex?”

“Its not like that.” Coulson sighs with a grin, he hasn’t moved but his eyes stay on Clint’s. “Its just something that I’ve wanted but I’ll admit I was only assuming you were on the same page. We can keep take this slow if you-”

“What made you change your mind?” Clint ignores the part of his mind that’s screaming for him to jump the man. He already got consent dammit!!

Coulson pauses and tilts his head slightly. “I think … I’m comfortable with progressing.” He looks down at his hands as he says it and Clint moves to the side of the bed with a smile. He knows what Coulson isn’t saying. He gets to his feet and puts his hands on the other man’s hips backing him up until Coulson’s back hits the wall. He licks his lips as he looks into the other man’s eyes.

“You sure? I’m really fine with waiting.” His eyes trail down as Phil takes off his tie. Maybe he was going to owe Tony a fruit basket or something. 

Clint had thought his pamphlet was hilarious but maybe he needed to look at the one’s Phil got. 

“Apparently we’re giving everyone blue balls.” Coulson smiles and lean forward to kiss him. Clint kisses back and puts both his arms against the wall on either side of Coulson’s face. “So really its for the good of the team.”

“Right.” Clint pulls back. His heart is pounding against his ribcage, he licks his lips again. “You sure it isn’t Stark and Rogers dancing around each other that’s doing that?”

“I want to have sex with you.” Coulson is looking him in the eyes and it sends heat through Clint’s body, he shivers. “How do you feel about this?”

“Remember that time we took on that cartel in Mexico and you stole my bow and beat that guy unconscious with it?” He grins kissing down Coulson’s neck.

“I didn’t steal your bow, you dropped it after he shot you.” Coulson groans. “I was out of bullets.”

“I’ve wanted to shove you against a wall and have my way with you ever since.” Clint admits before biting the other man’s neck. 

“God.” Coulson moans and hits his head against the wall behind him. “Budapest.”

“You really liked that purple suit.” Clint chuckles before moving his hands so he can get the other man undressed. He kisses the man’s chest as it becomes visible.

“I wanted to ruin it.” Coulson growls and Clint chuckles before the other man shoves a hand down his sweatpants and starts palming him. He groans loudly and rests his forehead against Coulson’s chest. 

“Fuck.” He rolls his hips into the hand and he quickly grabs Coulson’s wrist to stop him. He looks into the other man’s eyes. “Bed?”

“Please.” Coulson lets out a breathy laugh before pulling him closer and their kissing again only this time Coulson is pushing him backwards. He pulls the white shirt off the other man and they break apart so he can throw his shirt off. He pulls his pants and boxers off at the same time and looks up to see Coulson working on his belt.

“Let me.” He hooks his fingers in the belt loops and pulls the man forward. He looks up at Coulson and licks his lips, the man’s cheeks are flushed pink and his pupils are blown. He unhooks the first button and undoes the zipper before pulling both the pants and underwear down. (Coulson wears tighty-whities and Clint stopped making fun of him for it when he witnessed the man kill a guy with a slinky at a carnival.) He leers up at the other mas as he gently caresses Coulson's erection.

"Permission to suck your dick sir?" He grins when Coulson shivers.

“Granted Specialist.” Clint grins before leaning forward and licking up the shaft slowly. Coulson puts a hand on the back of his head so he looks up and smiles before putting his lips over the head and going down. “Clint.” Coulson breathes out.

He closes his eyes and focuses on the heavy weight of Coulson’s dick on his tongue. He’s been waiting for this, he’s going to savor it. The thick heat in his mouth, he groans before tracing a vein with his tongue.

“Dammit.” Coulson hisses tugging on Clint’s hair. “You’re going to be the death of me.”

Clint blinks his lashes before pulling off with a grin. “Can’t have that. I haven’t taken full advantage of your body yet.” He tugs the pants until the fall to the grown. “Now get naked.”

“Ordering me around now?” Coulson smirks as he takes the rest of his clothes off and crawls on the bed. Clint grins before pushing him over and crawling on top of him. 

“You bet soldier.” He kisses the older man before he can respond. “Lets get down to business?”

“To defeat the huns.” Coulson hums into the next kiss and Clint lets out a snort. 

“Freaki-Jesus you know no one would ever believe me if I told them what your itunes is full of.” Clint kisses down Coulson’s neck earning a hum of approval.

“No one will believe anything you say since you started the rumor about Hill being pregnant. I hope they’ve learned self preservation by now.” Coulson rolls his hips up and it connects with Clint’s, skin on skin and he lets out a moan. 

“Can we not talk about work right now?” Clint hisses and ruts against Coulson in return. “You … feel so good I just want all of you.” He moves his hands from Coulson’s arms to his chest, running over his next and leaning forward to kiss him. “I need to touch all of you.” 

“I’m not stopping you.” Coulson hums has Clint runs his fingers through his chest hair. Clint looks down at him through his lashes with a small smile and it takes Coulson’s breathe away. 

“You’re beautiful.” Clint whispers sliding his hands down Coulson’s sides.

“I was thinking the same thing about you.” Coulson confesses quietly. And it they move slower after that. It feels electric and hot causing Clint to gasp for air but the air conditioning leaves them both with goosebumps. 

“I want you to fuck me.” Clint licks his lips staring into Coulson’s blue eyes. The man he loves. 

“Okay.” Coulson gives him a small smile before pulling him down for a long slow kiss.

Clint pulls away, his heart beating hard in his chest. He doesn't know why he's suddenly nervous now as he rolls to the side of the bed to grab the lubes and condoms he has stored in the side table. Coulson watches him quietly. He grins up holding up a condom. "Do we need this?"

"I would prefer it." Coulson admits with a small blush and Clint doesn't ask why. He knows Coulson will tell him if it was important. Or when he is comfortable with it. "You want me to-?"

Clint pushes the other man back down on the bed before he can get up to far. "You're not going anywhere soldier." He dips his voice low and watches Coulson's eyes dilate. He grins. "I'm going to ride you. You're going to take it."

Coulson nods a little breathlessly and from the way he taps the bed with his hands Clint's glad he's not the only one whose nervous. He leans over and kisses Coulson before tugging on the man's lip with his teeth. He grins down swinging his legs over the man's torso earning a moan as his ass grinds against Coulson's hard dick. 

"Clint." Coulson wheezes. The man _wheezes_ and his hands are shaking as he grabs onto Clint's hips and he smiles down at the man. What ever nerves he was feeling before are dampened to the fact that Coulson is falling apart for _him_ and its so fucking hot. 

"Pushy." He whispers pouring lube on his fingers and leaning forward to kiss the older man as he preps himself. It takes a little flexibility, but honestly he's had more practice lately than he would admit. It's hard when your boyfriend is a fucking beast that won't put out. Clint bites the man on the lip with that thought but licks and kisses it better. 

Coulson shivers but he's rubbing his warm hands up and down Clint's back and arms. He moves them lower to cup Clint's ass and he can't help but laugh. He's about to make a joke about assets but Coulson decides to start kissing his neck and lets out a noise. 

"Hn." Is all Coulson says before he's making to kissing his neck and nipping at it this time. Clint gasps and has to stop what he's doing to pull away from the older man.

"Fucking cheat!" He says knowing he's flushing red and trying to catch his breath.

"Don't know what you're talking about." Coulson looks up at him innocently.

"Fucker." Clint moves and slides a condom on Coulson's dick and is already guiding it inside of him before the man can make a fuss.

"Wait -are you...hnn." Coulson groans and grabs Clint's hips tightly. "Fuck."

"Take it." Clint chuckles to himself and Coulson offers him a glare. Coulson fills him up and Clint's body is tingling all over from it. He lets out a content sigh as he's seated fully. Coulson is rubbing his large warm hands on his sides and upper thighs. He moves his hips and both of them hitch. "Christ I don't think I've been this sensitive in a long time." He moans out keeping the movement going.

"I honestly don't remember if I've ever been with someone before." Coulson says kinda low and it halts Clint's movement. He lets out a small noise.

"WHAT." Clint is looking down at him wide-eyed. "Coulson are you ... am I ... no way ..."

Coulson rocks his hips up into Clint causing the younger man to moan. He smirks. "Well, with this body at least."

"Oh my fucking Thor." Clint gasps speeding the paste up a little bit but keeping eye contact.

"Please don't bring up coworkers right now." Coulson grinds out, his hands on Clint's hips and they're both moving now.

"I'm going to wreck you." He stared down at Coulson with wide eyes. He's panting and his whole body is on edge. He's thinking about everything he's going to do to Coulson's body, everything he wants that body to do to him. He closes his eyes and fists his cock, jerking it as he rides Coulson. "I want to wreck you."

"We can wreck this body." Coulson licks his lips watching Clint. "Clint ... you're so ..." His breath hitches and Clint takes that as his queue to speed up. They both go silent as they get closer to the edge. Its grunts and moans and sweat is pooling on Coulson's collarbone and Clint's hands slip from his chest. He jerks himself off hard and Coulson's hand slides up to pinch a nipple and suddenly he's coming. He cries out arching his back as he rides Coulson through it. The other man rolls them over before continuing the pace they had before and it doesn't take too much long before Coulson's coming and burying his face in Clint shoulder. 

A thought hits up. 

"Do you come semen?"

Coulson snorts and moves his face to give Clint a disbelieving look.

"I think its a legit question." Clint's face flushes bright red. His brain to mouth filter has obviously given up because WHAT THE HELL? Why did he ask that right now?

"Part of the reason I wanted to wear a condom." Coulson moves away and pulls it off and holding it up. It looks like semen whatever it was. There's a pause of silence and Clint's berating himself not knowing what to say that _wouldn't_ make this even more awkward. He settles for tossing the condom off the side of the bed and wrapping his arms around the older man.

"I don't think I've ever taken someone's virginity before." He says instead smiling up at Coulson who looks amused.

"I can't believe you came before a virgin." the man says and Clint sputters. 

"Ass!"

"Such a selfish lover." Coulson sighs deeply as if the world is on his shoulders.

"I fucking love you." Clint mumbles tightening his hold on him.

"I love you too."

XXX

When Tony wakes up the next morning there’s a pamplet beside his bed. He glares at the title.

“So You’re in Love with a National Icon …” He reads out loud. 

“Bastards!”

**Author's Note:**

> Sorry this took so long! I uh .. haven't written porn in a while and kind of forgot how. xD Sorry if it was painful for any of you readers!!
> 
> Thank you for taking the time to read it!


End file.
